The one and only----Developing Virtue Girls School

8/22/2009 7:44 PM 

Hey, sorry about not updating my blog. So much----sooooo much had went on since I last posted. I can’t believe I didn’t even write about being in CTTB!!! Man, talk about a landmark period in my life. Although I already graduated from Developing Virtue Girls School (the name that I won’t ever be able to forget), I just have to say something about that very…hmm, how to say it? UNIQUE school (and double underline that word.) It’s still not too late for me to fill in on my past, right? After all, memories are a part of who we are today, and it will be good for me to look back on such a significant time that completely changed me.

I started attending DVGS in my freshman year in high school along with my sister. DVGS is located inside a Buddhist monastery in the unheard city of Ukiah, about 200 miles north of San Francisco, a good two hours drive. It is a private boarding school and the student demographic is 99.9% Asian. Nah, probably not that high, but we only have six or seven student who does not have an Asian heritage, just counting from junior high to 12th grade that is. We have quite a few students from Taiwan (most international students in the school are Taiwanese), a few from Malaysia, Singapore, one from German, one from Belgium, one from Luxembourg, and this year, we have a girl from Korea. Everyone is very excited about that due to the popularity of the Korean pop-culture around the dorm. Really, just mentioning names like Big Bang, Super Junior, Girls Generation, Wonder Girls, and DBSK will make the dorm go crazy. The other half of the students are from the U.S. The domestic cats are all from California except my sister and I, who are from Iowa. LOL, just typing that out sounds extremely funny because Iowa is such a random place in the middle of nowhere. Right, this brings us back to the question I should have answered first: how on earth did you guys land in that school? Well, our parents are Buddhist and my mom was a disciple of Venerable Master Hua, the founder of the monastery and our school. Sorry. I bet to people who aren’t familiar with the Buddhist customs probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but if I start explaining that, I’ll go even more off topic than I already am. Just look it up online  The internet is your best friend.  

What makes this school so UNIQUE then? The fact that it’s inside a monastery and that the school curriculum incorporates the teachings of Confucius and the Venerable Master. The mission statement of our school is to teach students to become good citizens that help the society. They will also graduate with a clear sense of morality and use the virtues they learned (such as trustworthiness and filiality) in their everyday life. The tuition is about $10,000/year, probably the most inexpensive private school in U.S. Because of the lack of money, almost all of the school staffs are volunteers, and a good number of them, including our principle and vice-principle, are Buddhist nuns. This is the part I find intriguing.

If anyone had seen the movie “Doubt” starring Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour and Amy Adams, you probably noticed the trouble with mixing education with religion, especially with nuns running the school. You see, there are certain restrictions to the things a nun can do. There are also things that, although not restricted, are difficult for them to do because of their religious view. Lastly, because they are nuns, it is hard for them to find time to cultivate and also help run the school. Not to mention, the nuns also voluntarily opened themselves to listen to us teenagers’ emotional problems. As you can imagine, it can get pretty hectic sometimes. Nuns are not saints. They are still human, like any of us, but with more obligation and rules to follow. Like in “Doubt”, Sister James (Adams) find it difficult to scold the children and be mean. After all, a nun is supposed to be compassionate, following the example of Mother Mary. It is the same for our school. It is tough to be tough, to be strict and to yell at the students because they wouldn’t listen. The thing is, we the students forced them to act that way. Being composed of students of different background and personality and customs, on top of that the explosive moods of adolescents, there were bound to be problems. Lots and lots of problems. Drama. TV couldn’t even compare.

Now that I’m graduated, I felt relieved from the stress of the academic workload as well as the bickering and disagreements. Ever the harmonious one, I, during my time of stay in the dormitory, mostly kept to myself. I regret that deeply now. I had avoided talking and interacting with other people as much as possible because I was afraid of the rejection and the hurt that often came out of friendships. I realize now that there is bound to be sorrow and down times in any relationship, but there is so much more output of joy than sadness. I shouldn’t have avoided others just because I fear being disapproved or teased. I missed out in getting to know so many wonderful personalities in the dorm, each with their own story and own different view of the world. But I was too afraid. Afraid of both myself and others. Afraid that I might say or do something stupid or not be good enough for them. Afraid others will not like me. I was too selfish, too protective of myself to open my heart to others. I was not only blocking a vent to my emotions with nobody to talk my feelings to, I was also restricting my help to others by not letting them approach me. I could’ve helped them with their own problems, listen to them, laugh with them, help them with their homework, and exchange opinions and views.
 
As Sheryl Crow and Vince Gill says in the song “What you give away” “No matter what you make/All that you can take/Is what you give away.” So very very true. My mom recently put my long-buried, unspoken spoken problem into words: “You need to care about other people more.” I realized that I was self-centered all along. Even when I thought I was thinking for other people by letting them go first in line or by asking them how they are, I wanted attention.

As I started practicing the mindset of putting others before myself, I found I am less nervous around people because I am no longer focused on myself, how I look or how others think of me. I instead turn my attention to others and their needs. This method not only made me feel more relaxed and confident, I am also helping others out as well.

Best rule to self: Always think of what you can do for others. People will like you more because they know you care.